Redecorating

I.   Me

Captivating.

Am I?

How could I ever be?

I feel like a mistake.

I feel dirty.

I feel imperfect.

I’m such a mess.
I am nothing.

I just want to die sometimes.

I wish I was beautiful.

I wish I was good.

I wish I could be all that I should be.

But I make a mess out of life.

I fail.

All the time.

And I feel like it’s all my fault.

I shouldn’t expect anything.

Because I am not worth anything.

I never will be.

Because I will always be damaged.

I will always be second rate.

I should be ashamed.

Because I am covered by shame.

It is my dress, my veil.

My legacy.

Look at me.

Yeah, I wouldn’t either.

II.   Lies

No!

LIES!  All lies!

The devil, the enemy,

who whispers fondly in my ear—

you lie.

Your words are pollutants, poisons.

There is no grain of truth

or wisdom or kindness in them.

Your words cripple and enslave.

They keep me broken and weeping

in the corner of my cave.

Your words whisper to me

to not let them out.

Keep it to myself.

No.

Bring the darkness into the light.

Expose the falsehoods.

Recognize the strongholds the lies

have built so diligently in my life.

Where is the power in the lies?

When I believe them.

When I let them continue to

reside in me peacefully, undisturbed.

But I see them.

And they will rest and rule no longer.

They will be [brutally] disturbed.

III.   Truth

Because what could be more brutal

to a lie than to be ripped apart?

To be seen for what it really is.

To lose all the power of deception.

To be invaded and conquered

by the light of the truth.

The truth refutes the lies.

The truth invites freedom.

The truth brings back reality.

IV. Captivating

Yes I am.

Because the truth is that I have been redeemed.

The truth is that I am bought and paid for.

The truth is that I am covered and pure.

The truth is that I am claimed.

The truth is that I am entirely forgiven.

The truth is that I am eternally loved.

I am faithfully and unconditionally loved.

I am sought after.

The truth is that I am chosen.

The truth is that I am worthy.

The truth is that I am new.

I am remade.

Reborn.

With new and bright eyes.

The truth is that I have been given grace.

The truth is that I have been saved.

The truth is that I am raised from death to life.

The truth is that life is finally worth living.

Because there is someone to live for.

The truth is that I have been given joy.

The truth is that I have been given peace.

The truth is that every time I write the word ‘truth’

I feel that one more lie is decimated in my mind.

One more lie is brought to nothing.

Because the truth is that the lies are powerless in the light.

The truth is that the enemy has already been defeated.

The truth is that the Christ has already claimed the victory.

Because Christ has already conquered death.

And sin.

And the lies.

The truth is that He did that because He loves me.

The truth is that I am saved.

The truth is that I have hope.

The truth is that I am looking forward to eternity.

The truth is that it couldn’t come soon enough.