The Fountain

if only people knew

that the love sought

was no longer sought

but found

in the open arms of a divine God

who only seeks to pour

fountains of

pure

satisfying

perfect

unconditional

sweetly romancing

love

into the

open hearts of those

longing to receive

willing to sacrifice

eager to change

disposed to follow

every word that flows

like a kiss

from the sweet lips

of a divine God

who bears the love sought

Originally written 3.3.08

Glory

The understanding of your worth is

knowledge vastly higher than mine.

To see and to know,

to experience and feel,

to realize the full depth

should cause me to kneel.

At the foot of the throne,

all because of the cross

where you made me your own

and all things became loss.

To see the glory

and the renown of your name

the full splendor of your majesty

and your unmatchable fame;

These things in their essence

should consume me to the core,

direct the course of my life

for it is you that I live for.

And yet in my weakness

as I continually fall

your Spirit surrounds me

(as he desires to surround all).

And then in the darkness

where I so often fall apart,

I experience your presence

and the power of the spark.

See what you have done,

in this wicked heart of mine?

You have reveled to me your glory,

and made this heart more like thine.

Abide

Love so sweet

&

So sweetly undefined

Undefined to the depths

The very depths of the sea

The sea of mess

The mess residing in me

In me there is nothing

There is nothing so good

So good and so free

As the Lover of the earth

Residing in me.

Unveiled and Made New

I am loved by the maker and the creator of the universe.

I call to him and he hears me.

I fail him and he is faithful to me.

I turn to him and he holds me.

I seek him and he embraces me.

I speak to him while he already knows me.

I speak his name, and demons flee.

A mere whisper of him and the devil hides.

The glory of God, he wants for his own.

The mercy of God, he detests.

The love of God, he can’t understand.

The enemy seeks to imprison me, but I will not fear;

The one who loves me holds the keys to death and Hades.

And those keys he can use to unravel the death in me.

Because from toe to scalp, I am full to the brim with the very thing my God detests.

Hate the sin, love the sinner—who said that first?

Before the earth had its foundation,

Before it was even possible for man to go astray,

God knew what the creation of man would cost,

But while I was just a thought in his mind

He already knew me enough to love me,

And loved me enough to die for me.

He already fixed his gaze on me as his Beloved.

He already decided that he would rather create me and himself die

Than to exist without me.

And this not because of my greatness or wonder,

But because of the ever fathomless might of his great love.

And all in all, at the end of the day,

Of this I am secure:

I am counted as blessed forever and always,

Because the love of God consumes.

I want to be a dry tree in the desert land,

That my God might consume me with fire

And there be nothing surrounding me that might put it out.

Holy fire, burn and wage war against me—

I who inherently am evil—

Vanquish me that I might be left completely unveiled to you.

That you would be the invasion that plunges into me

And burns me down to build me anew,

What a great miracle that would be?

That I might die to my flesh every day while still living in a body of flesh,

That you might bring this dead body to life?

The words of my soul are indescribable.

To describe fully the wonder of being made new by you,

I cannot do, because I can't wrap my mind around how you work!

That is the complexity of the miracle you have worked inside me.

But one thing I do know:

That it is good.  In the true sense of the word.

In the sense that God is good,

And not merely in the sense that some person is good

Because she gave some other person a twenty.

Being made new in the likeness of Christ is good,

And it is good because it does not come from me.

Nothing good has ever arisen from me.

But everything good has sprung from my Lord.

And what is this, that this good and wondrous thing should be given to me?

Grace.

Without grace, man would find this thing impossible.

Not from me Lord, but wholly from you does this wonder come.

You gain nothing from my salvation, because everything is already yours.

There is nothing that I could give you that you could possibly need.

Simply because you love me you have saved me.

Because you love me.

And you adore me.

And you long for me and treasure me, 

And I belong to you and you are faithful to me.

Because of your might and your sacrifice alone am I saved.

What else could there be for me?

What could be better than this?

How could anything other than you ever suffice?

How weak it makes me that I would ever look anywhere but you.

But I can rejoice. 

Because you are greater than my heart.

You Make Me Flowers

After all this time,

after all my weakness,

after I’ve run from you for the millionth time,

what can I say of you?

You make me flowers.

In my darkest moments

you hold my heart in your hand.

In the depth of my depravity

you never even thought to flinch away from me.

You look at me as I look at the stars—

gazing in awe and wonder at such a beautiful creation.

You enjoy me as I enjoy roses—

such a sweet fragrance flowing from their core.

At every moment throughout the day,

from the beginning of days until now,

you’ve seen me as your lovely bride,

you’ve seen me as your treasure.

[And I will always be].

And so you make me flowers.

I could never imagine that a simple flower

could tell me such magnificent things of my Lord.

‘Look, I made this because I create all things good—everything wonderful and glorious comes from me.  And because I love you I give you beauty to enjoy.  Beauty to bring you delight, to bring you closer to me heart, to help you fathom my great and fathomless and everlasting love.”

If flowers had voices,

they would be sweet as their scent.

And with those sweet voices would rise a melody sweeter still

to sing your beauty back to you.

Two Hands

What if we could feel the speed of the earth as it spun beneath our feet?

Feel the wind as it really is,

the scent of the sky and our atmosphere as it all passed us by.

Feel the danger and the exhilaration of all the motion,

but yet be held still and in place, feet firmly glued to the ground.

I’m sure we would all be wondering what brand of superglue our God uses.

And if it's sold at Wal-Mart.

There’s a song that I’m certain anyone who has set foot in a church has sung or heard a choir of heart-stoppingly adorable kids sing at some point.

He’s got the whole world in his hands.

Sound familiar?

Whenever I’ve heard or sung this song, I’ve always had this image in my head of two cupped hands with a beautiful little green and blue ball sitting in them (and I’m pretty sure there have been loads of drawings of this too).  The earth sitting peacefully in the hands of God. 

But the earth doesn’t actually sit motionless and calm in the universe.  I’m not going to even try to go into the math of it all, but we all know that our little ball of life is doing some pretty crazy acrobatics as it spins with eight other planets (I refuse to renounce Pluto as a planet) around a literal ball of fire.  I don’t know about you, but the picture in my head changes quite a bit when I think about the same two hands holding the earth as it moves along its course.

Whilst the deeper meaning of our song is not that there are two literal hands that the earth is sitting on but rather that God has complete control of everything, the distinction is still crucial.  It would be magnificent enough that our God has control of the earth if it was a calm little ball just hanging out in space.  That would still be over 6 billion people for God to lead and know intimately, which is a mighty thing in itself.  But oh how it further increases the might and glory and wonder of our God to know that he doesn’t need silence or calm to remain in control of everything.  In the midst of the chaos and the noise and the war and the tears, our God is forever the almighty Lord of the heavens and the earth who knows everything there could be to know about the lives that we all weave around each other.  And this incomprehensible God that holds the earth and all our lives inside of his perfect will—to him alone be all the glory.

Redecorating

I.   Me

Captivating.

Am I?

How could I ever be?

I feel like a mistake.

I feel dirty.

I feel imperfect.

I’m such a mess.
I am nothing.

I just want to die sometimes.

I wish I was beautiful.

I wish I was good.

I wish I could be all that I should be.

But I make a mess out of life.

I fail.

All the time.

And I feel like it’s all my fault.

I shouldn’t expect anything.

Because I am not worth anything.

I never will be.

Because I will always be damaged.

I will always be second rate.

I should be ashamed.

Because I am covered by shame.

It is my dress, my veil.

My legacy.

Look at me.

Yeah, I wouldn’t either.

II.   Lies

No!

LIES!  All lies!

The devil, the enemy,

who whispers fondly in my ear—

you lie.

Your words are pollutants, poisons.

There is no grain of truth

or wisdom or kindness in them.

Your words cripple and enslave.

They keep me broken and weeping

in the corner of my cave.

Your words whisper to me

to not let them out.

Keep it to myself.

No.

Bring the darkness into the light.

Expose the falsehoods.

Recognize the strongholds the lies

have built so diligently in my life.

Where is the power in the lies?

When I believe them.

When I let them continue to

reside in me peacefully, undisturbed.

But I see them.

And they will rest and rule no longer.

They will be [brutally] disturbed.

III.   Truth

Because what could be more brutal

to a lie than to be ripped apart?

To be seen for what it really is.

To lose all the power of deception.

To be invaded and conquered

by the light of the truth.

The truth refutes the lies.

The truth invites freedom.

The truth brings back reality.

IV. Captivating

Yes I am.

Because the truth is that I have been redeemed.

The truth is that I am bought and paid for.

The truth is that I am covered and pure.

The truth is that I am claimed.

The truth is that I am entirely forgiven.

The truth is that I am eternally loved.

I am faithfully and unconditionally loved.

I am sought after.

The truth is that I am chosen.

The truth is that I am worthy.

The truth is that I am new.

I am remade.

Reborn.

With new and bright eyes.

The truth is that I have been given grace.

The truth is that I have been saved.

The truth is that I am raised from death to life.

The truth is that life is finally worth living.

Because there is someone to live for.

The truth is that I have been given joy.

The truth is that I have been given peace.

The truth is that every time I write the word ‘truth’

I feel that one more lie is decimated in my mind.

One more lie is brought to nothing.

Because the truth is that the lies are powerless in the light.

The truth is that the enemy has already been defeated.

The truth is that the Christ has already claimed the victory.

Because Christ has already conquered death.

And sin.

And the lies.

The truth is that He did that because He loves me.

The truth is that I am saved.

The truth is that I have hope.

The truth is that I am looking forward to eternity.

The truth is that it couldn’t come soon enough.